YOU HAVE TO LAUGH, AT LEAST SOMETIMES...

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"  
               -- Mary Poppins, umbrella traveler

One of the primary aspects of both my full-time job and my extracurricular travel-related activities is that they both require a lot of time in the air and on the road. It kind of tells you something when what I do for a living is also something I enjoy doing on my own.

No travel can ever be absolutely perfect and smooth at all times. There are too many elements which can go awry -- not because of any nefarious scheme or professional incompetence, but because there are too many outside variables in travel execution to be foolproof at all times.

This can take a multitude of forms, some of them simultaneously coming together to really spoil even the best-laid plans. Weather. Computer glitches. Unruly (other) passengers. Faulty equipment. Reservations which have vanished or aren't correct. Running out of Terra Blue potato chips two rows in front of you, and the guy sitting next to you gets the last ginger ale.

Unexpected delays of all kinds. 

So the mark of a true Traveler -- capital T -- is the ability to take these things in stride and roll with the punches. Getting upset and angry is inevitable in certain situations, but channeling that energy into a constructive vein is the most effective use of our time and effort. Passengers' unruly and rude behavior is perhaps the fastest rising negative trend in the world of travel.

Take for example a flight delay or cancellation. It's happened to me a number of times, for reasons related to mechanical issues (go right ahead and cancel, thank you) to weather conditions (see previous parenthetical comment) to personnel issues (less understandable, but you gotta follow the rules). The key is understanding and clear communication between the airline and its passengers. Let us, the customers, know what's happening and why.

One of the perks of being a frequent traveler and blogger (and tweeter) is that I have established an electronic rapport with my preferred airlines -- USAir/American and JetBlue -- and hotels -- Hilton, IHG and Marriott. It's a fun part of the job, and I approach certain elements of our interactions with an attempt at humor. Situations can be bad, but the resolution to these difficulties can often be determined by the approach and attitude. Mine as well as theirs. Only rarely have I contacted the Social Media folks with a problem...in my experience the counter teams are almost always up to the task of resolving my challenges. And even enthusiastic about it if they like me.

Over the years I've determined you have to approach any mode of travel with a mindset of having a good time, otherwise what's the point? If something goes awry, deal with it and accept that nobody sets out to make your life miserable. (Well, perhaps aside from some of the passengers I've seen over the years. I've seen a few difficult employees, but for everyone one of them I've seen dozens of difficult passengers.)

The key, I think, is a combination of both experience and common sense. And common courtesy for that matter -- perhaps most importantly.

If there's a computer glitch, be patient and let the person behind the counter work it out. If they can't they'll call someone who can. Arguing with them isn't going to make the computer more responsive. (If you believe that it does, you're probably the sort of person who presses elevator and crosswalk buttons several times thinking it will speed things up. Electronics don't work that way, but thanks for playing the game.) 

I have rarely seen a pleasant person not get the very best effort of the people trying to help them. It may not always be exactly the answer the passenger was seeking, but it usually leaves them feeling listened to and appreciated.

Yesterday, as I was checking in online for a flight to Portland (during which I'm writing this entry), the system got itself confused and either did or did not charge my credit card for an upgrade. It suddenly flashed a pop-up screen which directed me to print out a receipt and talk to the folks at the counter. (This is computer speak for "Um, check with a human. I have no idea what I just did.")

I checked in, and the human behind the desk, a very helpful JetBlue employee named Ta Wana, worked out that the computer had frozen the seat, taken my charge information, but might not have charged the card and certainly wasn't going to release my seat. I let her do her job, and a few minutes later I had my upgrade and was headed down the terminal to find a leisurely breakfast

In other circumstances I have been the passenger directly behind an angry person, working with a wearied employee to find new seats after a flight from Miami to Raleigh was cancelled. He blustered, he spoke in an authoritative voice, he asked -- several times -- if she knew what this delay was costing him. (He never said, but I admit to being morbidly curious once I determined he deserved it.)

When it was my turn my first words were "Deep breath. Relax."

That two second exchange -- and giving the employee a moment to collect herself -- earned me a tired but pleasant smile and subsequent extra effort to get me where I needed to go. I was determined that the delay, inconvenient as it was, was not going to spoil my travel. (And it being at Miami International, a facility high on my list of "no, please not there!" airports, being sanguine about spending an additional couple of hours waiting for my revised connection was an effort.)

Like any traveler, frequent or not, I've had a number of frustrating days. Exhausting days. But I still love to travel. I love being places, and seeing things. I am thrilled to sit in the window seat of an aircraft and watch the world below. It's a part of me. 

So, all that said, I tend to do things, on Twitter and Facebook and elsewhere, which poke fun at otherwise difficult times. I post the "Obligatory Boarding Shot" on Twitter. And sometimes a picture of a mixed drink to demonstrate my coping skills. I banter with the airline's social media employees while I wait in the terminal.

Bartender Kenia's office

The bartender/waitress at my favorite restaurant at Long Beach Airport knows my name. And I know hers. (Not for the same reasons bartenders usually know someone's name, I hasten to add -- I take morning flights, so eat breakfast at her counter.) i regularly tweet to the Social Media folks for the company that runs the restaurants there. And the airport's SM team. The gate person at USAir's Gate 2 -- who greets everyone with a broad and pleasant smile, even early on Monday mornings -- knows me by name. Not because they see me every once in a while, but because I have taken the time to know them, and we talk. We interact and have a good time.

My two preferred airlines not only follow me on Twitter, but regularly retweet my comments. Because I'm having fun. It's a way to show that attitude makes miserable situations less so.

In that light, I will note that like the Counter team, a flight attendant's job -- in particular -- is not an easy one. They in many ways are about as put-upon as any highly-trained professional in any field outside of, perhaps, nursing. If anyone is justified in wanting to bring a baseball bat to work, it's these folks. And yet it's a rare flight on either JetBlue or USAir (now American) when you encounter a sourpuss. 

I watch as they deal with passengers who seem to lack depth perception ("Sir, your steamer trunk won't fit in the overhead -- yes, I can see you trying to wedge it in -- would it be possible for me to gate-check that for you? No charge.") or worse, comprehension skills ("No ma'am, I really can't have you standing on your seat to get something from the overhead while the plane is taxiing to the runway.") 

Or even worse yet, social skills ("Now sir, was it really necessary to throw your wife's hot coffee at me because I didn't drop everything to fetch you your third bourbon and Coke? We've only been in the air for fifteen minutes...") 

And so on.

For a profession that is based upon a high degree of safety training, which only doubles as a service role out of the need to double task if there's nothing particularly urgent going on (which, thankfully, is the vast majority of the time), I find the cabin crews' tolerance and adaptability impressive. Me, there are times I just wanna club some of the other passengers. 

(In a *fun* and thoroughly enjoyable way, of course.)

Travel is not a perfected art. On my current flight the TV screen in the seatback in front of me isn't working, providing snow where other passengers are enjoying satellite TV. None of the sets on our row are working. I was immediately offered a nearby seat, but declined because it's not, at the moment, a big deal. I'd planned on writing anyway. The woman sharing my row (empty seat in the middle) is simply going to nap.

You can rail against the flaws and faults, and make yourself and others miserable, or you can energize yourself and your travel providers by understanding their challenges and letting them use their knowledge to help you out when you need it. Or when you don't really need it -- or when it's not really a big deal to begin with.

The frustrations are challenges to be handled professionally and courteously. Yeah, I expect a level of treatment that comes with being a frequent traveler, but it's because I've learned how NOT to do things that I've earned the right to be respected and valued as a passenger. And -- importantly -- it's letting the folks who are working hard to get you from point A to point Z as fast and as comfortably as possible, that you appreciate their efforts and want to make a difficult situation easier for them as well as yourself.

I should note -- to keep friends of mine who might know me better, and laugh at my apparent serenity -- that I'm not a Pollyanna, and can hold my own in a difficult situation. Stand up for myself or another person when something just genuinely isn't right or being handled correctly.

In the past I have railed numerous times against some perceived slight or flaw or fault. I don't know if it's age which has worn me down, or experience which has taught me better, but if I can't have a little fun in the process of getting from A to Z, what's the point of even trying? I see too many passengers in the terminal slowly dying from an inner turmoil (New Word: Terminoil!) and generally making themselves, and everyone around them, miserable. It's usually the passengers who make things miserable, not the airlines. Even TSA seems to have become more user friendly.

I used to get upset. Used to get frustrated. Used to sit stewing at some perceived slight. But other than one serious breach at Melbourne International Airport last year, I haven't gotten genuinely upset with anything to do with travel In a long time. Stories, yeah. Got a bunch of them. But they're usually related to someone else's melt down.

(It isn't a formal club, but you should know that frequent travelers can identify each other, and usually gather to one side to watch someone who is in the process of getting themselves kicked off a flight because the counter team wasn't obeying their every whim.

(I recall one particular incident at PHX when a passenger experiencing his third hour of delay -- and having visited the bar in the interim -- proceeded to yell very loud and obnoxious things when the gate crew announced yet another delay -- mechanical issues, each of them. Security was called. The man calmed down, then uttered additional obnoxious things after boarding. It was with particular satisfaction several of us watched and commented, then applauded as he was escorted from the plane.)

For me, for all the angst I've felt -- and we all do -- I'm done with traveling that way...bring on the fun if at all possible.

(...but feel free to ask me about this again the next time I'm on a rant.)

ADDENDUM

As if to put a perfect exclamation point on my above thoughts, when I arrived at the Portland Airport National Car Rental facility it was rapidly apparent that I had either arrived during a spontaneous LA freeway-style rush hour, or there was a problem with the computers. Six cars were backed up from the check out gates, blocking still others which could not even pull into the aisle. A full complement of customers were waiting to leave the facility. 

The National team were on full alert, and slowly the cars began moving forward. As I got to the front an obviously stressed but enthusiastic employee -- I think she might have been the manager -- came up to my car with a smile and asked for the paperwork to "get you on your way!" She thanked me and went quickly into the booth, processed the transaction (I am National Emerald Club, so simply provide docs at the exit gate) and came back. 

I said "Stressful?"

She laughed and said "A bit. Thank you. You have a great day and safe travels!" And with that she gave me a deep and dramatic bow and waved me through. She was going to have an upbeat day, regardless of the stress, which kept me -- and everyone else in that line -- from getting too upset over a few minutes delay.

A fitting coda for the essay I'd written on the plane.

The Zen of Travel