AIRPORT PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE (OR, "THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD...")

"Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting."  
                                                                   - author Joyce Meyer






We've all had bad days, many of which may take place at an airport. Let's face it: airports are ripe for bad-dayage in many ways. 

But maturity tends to bring a bit more patience and when we're confronted by a challenge we respond with more of a "okay, so how do we fix this" instead of the more youthful "it's YOUR fault and you need to fix it NOW!"

Most of us, that is.

A couple of years ago I was on my way from Long Beach to Las Vegas, and rather than drive I made the decision to fly. Time-wise it would take longer, but it would give me time to do a little work as well as not be concerned with spending nine hours (round trip) on the road. But fate can be a bitch when she wants to be, and the most convenient flight to Vegas wasn't a JetBlue direct flight, but a USAir (*now American) indirect flight through Phoenix.

Phoenix is not, for the record, my favorite airport, and I've learned to navigate it pretty well and never missed a connection. Sky Harbor is a leviathan of an airport, and gates are often ten or fifteen minutes apart, depending upon the crowd you encounter upon arrival.

Phoenix International

I arrive in Phoenix and it's a mess. Rush hour and tens of thousands of people thronging their way through the walkways between gates. I make my way to my connecting gate well ahead of time and start looking around for a place to sit. That's when I notice the very long line at the gate counter, and I look up at the flight information to note that my flight is delayed by a couple of hours.

It happens, but it's never a fun thing. As I'm settling in for the long run I overhear that another flight to Las Vegas has been canceled,  and they're trying to rebook as many passengers as possible on this flight. Again, it happens, but it's never a fun thing. At least the flight is a short one and the compressed cabin will be only a brief test of passenger endurance.

The ZEN of Flying...and waiting

I note, however, that the additional delay has not gone over well with a handful of the people from the earlier canceled flight. One man, in particular, seems very agitated. He and a couple of other passengers grumble loudly and head off "to the bar".

Two hours later we get additional bad news.

The aircraft we expected to board has been  pulled for maintenance. The air conditioning isn't functioning correctly and the inside of the jet is over 100F. Ouch.

(Now, I will say up front and freely that if an airline wants to pull an aircraft for maintenance they have my FULL and unwavering support. If they're not comfortable with putting it in the air, I'm not comfortable boarding. Delays are no problem, provided we work together to get me where I need to go.)

The expected time for them to get another aircraft adds another hour to our delay. Ugh. Three hours total. Luckily I don't have any appointments in Vegas that afternoon, though this means we'll be arriving at around 6pm instead of the expected 3.

The promised land

Oh. And we're moving gates from the very end of one PHX terminal, to one about halfway up the adjacent terminal wing. Only about a five minute walk. As a large group. Lots of grumbling and unhappiness, and I note the agitated guy is nowhere to be seen. Likely still in the bar, which is not good news.

We get to the gate and at this point I've started talking to some of the other passengers who are themselves frequent flyers. (Frequent flyers kinda recognize each other. It's a weird experience, but you can see them in the way they stand and the way they respond to the terminal around them. Can't really explain.) (Well, that and we tend to have the smaller carry-on bags.)

We buckle down at the new gate, and it turns out several people noted Mr Agitation. And we're all wondering what will happen when he gets back to the gate to discover we've all left without him. There have been numerous announcements of the gate change, so maybe he heard it from the overhead.

Decaf...

No such luck. Twenty minutes or so later he appears at the desk, yelling at the gate crew about the changes and delays. No amount of explanation is going to help, and the fact that everything is out of their control means nothing to him. He leaves, loudly, and is still angrily talking up a storm as he sits down.

A few minutes later an aircraft we are told is from the maintenance area pulls into the gate. The flight crew will go on board to check the systems and begin readying the aircraft for flight. A half-hearted cheer goes up.

And then it happens. You can see nobody at the counter wants to make the announcement. Finally the senior person gets on the overhead to let us know that, ahem, the aircraft isn't fueled and we'll need to wait until the jet fuel company can bring over a tanker truck and fill 'er up.

Just say "no"

Predictably there are more comments from Mr Agitation. He departs again "for the bar".

(Side note: you can see where this is going. Strong recommendation from anyone who flies regularly is "if things get hairy, DO NOT drink alcohol". Just sayin'.)

The truck and Mr Agitation arrive back at the gate at around the same time, and we're told, via overhead, that it will take about ten minutes to compete the refueling and we would probably start to board. This is too much for Mr A, and he storms the desk, screaming and cursing in a way that would embarrass even a sailor.

The gate personnel try desperately to cool the situation, but it's not working. He retreats but then reconfronts the staff. Eventually -- all this occurring as the other passengers watch the entertainment wishing we had popcorn -- security is summoned and he is questioned. Voices are lowered. He realizes the very thin ice he's on, and he agrees to calm down. Security hangs around just in case.


Minutes later, to an honest cheer and clap, we're told we're boarding, and my group is called first (the benefits of frequent flying..). The two guys I've been talking to also queue up and we're passed through to take our seats. The rest of the process is going relatively smoothly, when Mr A boards and loudly announces "It's about fucking time!", apparently assuming the rest of us are on his side.

No need to be like that

Personal Note: 

"Dear Mr. A,

Not on your side.

The Passengers"

Mr A disappears into the rows behind me, dragging a larger-than-permitted "carryon".

We wait for it. Amused glances from several of us who have bonded over Mr. A's tribulations. 

It takes just a moment. Then, from the back: "Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!" 

And boom, there he goes.

Voices, and finally calm. Mr A seems mollified. The flight attendance all are exchanging glances which tell us the story isn't finished.

Las Vegas

The last of the passengers board and the usual announcements are made. The head flight attendant keeps looking out up the jetway, and sure enough she gets on the overhead to announce one more brief delay. A slight second later two security officers board the plane and escort Mr A off to a fair round of applause.

The doors are closed and we finally taxi and lift off to Las Vegas. 


We arrive three and a half hours late, directly into the middle of a raging storm.

But that's a story for another time.

YOU HAVE TO LAUGH, AT LEAST SOMETIMES...

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"  
               -- Mary Poppins, umbrella traveler

One of the primary aspects of both my full-time job and my extracurricular travel-related activities is that they both require a lot of time in the air and on the road. It kind of tells you something when what I do for a living is also something I enjoy doing on my own.

No travel can ever be absolutely perfect and smooth at all times. There are too many elements which can go awry -- not because of any nefarious scheme or professional incompetence, but because there are too many outside variables in travel execution to be foolproof at all times.

This can take a multitude of forms, some of them simultaneously coming together to really spoil even the best-laid plans. Weather. Computer glitches. Unruly (other) passengers. Faulty equipment. Reservations which have vanished or aren't correct. Running out of Terra Blue potato chips two rows in front of you, and the guy sitting next to you gets the last ginger ale.

Unexpected delays of all kinds. 

So the mark of a true Traveler -- capital T -- is the ability to take these things in stride and roll with the punches. Getting upset and angry is inevitable in certain situations, but channeling that energy into a constructive vein is the most effective use of our time and effort. Passengers' unruly and rude behavior is perhaps the fastest rising negative trend in the world of travel.

Take for example a flight delay or cancellation. It's happened to me a number of times, for reasons related to mechanical issues (go right ahead and cancel, thank you) to weather conditions (see previous parenthetical comment) to personnel issues (less understandable, but you gotta follow the rules). The key is understanding and clear communication between the airline and its passengers. Let us, the customers, know what's happening and why.

One of the perks of being a frequent traveler and blogger (and tweeter) is that I have established an electronic rapport with my preferred airlines -- USAir/American and JetBlue -- and hotels -- Hilton, IHG and Marriott. It's a fun part of the job, and I approach certain elements of our interactions with an attempt at humor. Situations can be bad, but the resolution to these difficulties can often be determined by the approach and attitude. Mine as well as theirs. Only rarely have I contacted the Social Media folks with a problem...in my experience the counter teams are almost always up to the task of resolving my challenges. And even enthusiastic about it if they like me.

Over the years I've determined you have to approach any mode of travel with a mindset of having a good time, otherwise what's the point? If something goes awry, deal with it and accept that nobody sets out to make your life miserable. (Well, perhaps aside from some of the passengers I've seen over the years. I've seen a few difficult employees, but for everyone one of them I've seen dozens of difficult passengers.)

The key, I think, is a combination of both experience and common sense. And common courtesy for that matter -- perhaps most importantly.

If there's a computer glitch, be patient and let the person behind the counter work it out. If they can't they'll call someone who can. Arguing with them isn't going to make the computer more responsive. (If you believe that it does, you're probably the sort of person who presses elevator and crosswalk buttons several times thinking it will speed things up. Electronics don't work that way, but thanks for playing the game.) 

I have rarely seen a pleasant person not get the very best effort of the people trying to help them. It may not always be exactly the answer the passenger was seeking, but it usually leaves them feeling listened to and appreciated.

Yesterday, as I was checking in online for a flight to Portland (during which I'm writing this entry), the system got itself confused and either did or did not charge my credit card for an upgrade. It suddenly flashed a pop-up screen which directed me to print out a receipt and talk to the folks at the counter. (This is computer speak for "Um, check with a human. I have no idea what I just did.")

I checked in, and the human behind the desk, a very helpful JetBlue employee named Ta Wana, worked out that the computer had frozen the seat, taken my charge information, but might not have charged the card and certainly wasn't going to release my seat. I let her do her job, and a few minutes later I had my upgrade and was headed down the terminal to find a leisurely breakfast

In other circumstances I have been the passenger directly behind an angry person, working with a wearied employee to find new seats after a flight from Miami to Raleigh was cancelled. He blustered, he spoke in an authoritative voice, he asked -- several times -- if she knew what this delay was costing him. (He never said, but I admit to being morbidly curious once I determined he deserved it.)

When it was my turn my first words were "Deep breath. Relax."

That two second exchange -- and giving the employee a moment to collect herself -- earned me a tired but pleasant smile and subsequent extra effort to get me where I needed to go. I was determined that the delay, inconvenient as it was, was not going to spoil my travel. (And it being at Miami International, a facility high on my list of "no, please not there!" airports, being sanguine about spending an additional couple of hours waiting for my revised connection was an effort.)

Like any traveler, frequent or not, I've had a number of frustrating days. Exhausting days. But I still love to travel. I love being places, and seeing things. I am thrilled to sit in the window seat of an aircraft and watch the world below. It's a part of me. 

So, all that said, I tend to do things, on Twitter and Facebook and elsewhere, which poke fun at otherwise difficult times. I post the "Obligatory Boarding Shot" on Twitter. And sometimes a picture of a mixed drink to demonstrate my coping skills. I banter with the airline's social media employees while I wait in the terminal.

Bartender Kenia's office

The bartender/waitress at my favorite restaurant at Long Beach Airport knows my name. And I know hers. (Not for the same reasons bartenders usually know someone's name, I hasten to add -- I take morning flights, so eat breakfast at her counter.) i regularly tweet to the Social Media folks for the company that runs the restaurants there. And the airport's SM team. The gate person at USAir's Gate 2 -- who greets everyone with a broad and pleasant smile, even early on Monday mornings -- knows me by name. Not because they see me every once in a while, but because I have taken the time to know them, and we talk. We interact and have a good time.

My two preferred airlines not only follow me on Twitter, but regularly retweet my comments. Because I'm having fun. It's a way to show that attitude makes miserable situations less so.

In that light, I will note that like the Counter team, a flight attendant's job -- in particular -- is not an easy one. They in many ways are about as put-upon as any highly-trained professional in any field outside of, perhaps, nursing. If anyone is justified in wanting to bring a baseball bat to work, it's these folks. And yet it's a rare flight on either JetBlue or USAir (now American) when you encounter a sourpuss. 

I watch as they deal with passengers who seem to lack depth perception ("Sir, your steamer trunk won't fit in the overhead -- yes, I can see you trying to wedge it in -- would it be possible for me to gate-check that for you? No charge.") or worse, comprehension skills ("No ma'am, I really can't have you standing on your seat to get something from the overhead while the plane is taxiing to the runway.") 

Or even worse yet, social skills ("Now sir, was it really necessary to throw your wife's hot coffee at me because I didn't drop everything to fetch you your third bourbon and Coke? We've only been in the air for fifteen minutes...") 

And so on.

For a profession that is based upon a high degree of safety training, which only doubles as a service role out of the need to double task if there's nothing particularly urgent going on (which, thankfully, is the vast majority of the time), I find the cabin crews' tolerance and adaptability impressive. Me, there are times I just wanna club some of the other passengers. 

(In a *fun* and thoroughly enjoyable way, of course.)

Travel is not a perfected art. On my current flight the TV screen in the seatback in front of me isn't working, providing snow where other passengers are enjoying satellite TV. None of the sets on our row are working. I was immediately offered a nearby seat, but declined because it's not, at the moment, a big deal. I'd planned on writing anyway. The woman sharing my row (empty seat in the middle) is simply going to nap.

You can rail against the flaws and faults, and make yourself and others miserable, or you can energize yourself and your travel providers by understanding their challenges and letting them use their knowledge to help you out when you need it. Or when you don't really need it -- or when it's not really a big deal to begin with.

The frustrations are challenges to be handled professionally and courteously. Yeah, I expect a level of treatment that comes with being a frequent traveler, but it's because I've learned how NOT to do things that I've earned the right to be respected and valued as a passenger. And -- importantly -- it's letting the folks who are working hard to get you from point A to point Z as fast and as comfortably as possible, that you appreciate their efforts and want to make a difficult situation easier for them as well as yourself.

I should note -- to keep friends of mine who might know me better, and laugh at my apparent serenity -- that I'm not a Pollyanna, and can hold my own in a difficult situation. Stand up for myself or another person when something just genuinely isn't right or being handled correctly.

In the past I have railed numerous times against some perceived slight or flaw or fault. I don't know if it's age which has worn me down, or experience which has taught me better, but if I can't have a little fun in the process of getting from A to Z, what's the point of even trying? I see too many passengers in the terminal slowly dying from an inner turmoil (New Word: Terminoil!) and generally making themselves, and everyone around them, miserable. It's usually the passengers who make things miserable, not the airlines. Even TSA seems to have become more user friendly.

I used to get upset. Used to get frustrated. Used to sit stewing at some perceived slight. But other than one serious breach at Melbourne International Airport last year, I haven't gotten genuinely upset with anything to do with travel In a long time. Stories, yeah. Got a bunch of them. But they're usually related to someone else's melt down.

(It isn't a formal club, but you should know that frequent travelers can identify each other, and usually gather to one side to watch someone who is in the process of getting themselves kicked off a flight because the counter team wasn't obeying their every whim.

(I recall one particular incident at PHX when a passenger experiencing his third hour of delay -- and having visited the bar in the interim -- proceeded to yell very loud and obnoxious things when the gate crew announced yet another delay -- mechanical issues, each of them. Security was called. The man calmed down, then uttered additional obnoxious things after boarding. It was with particular satisfaction several of us watched and commented, then applauded as he was escorted from the plane.)

For me, for all the angst I've felt -- and we all do -- I'm done with traveling that way...bring on the fun if at all possible.

(...but feel free to ask me about this again the next time I'm on a rant.)

ADDENDUM

As if to put a perfect exclamation point on my above thoughts, when I arrived at the Portland Airport National Car Rental facility it was rapidly apparent that I had either arrived during a spontaneous LA freeway-style rush hour, or there was a problem with the computers. Six cars were backed up from the check out gates, blocking still others which could not even pull into the aisle. A full complement of customers were waiting to leave the facility. 

The National team were on full alert, and slowly the cars began moving forward. As I got to the front an obviously stressed but enthusiastic employee -- I think she might have been the manager -- came up to my car with a smile and asked for the paperwork to "get you on your way!" She thanked me and went quickly into the booth, processed the transaction (I am National Emerald Club, so simply provide docs at the exit gate) and came back. 

I said "Stressful?"

She laughed and said "A bit. Thank you. You have a great day and safe travels!" And with that she gave me a deep and dramatic bow and waved me through. She was going to have an upbeat day, regardless of the stress, which kept me -- and everyone else in that line -- from getting too upset over a few minutes delay.

A fitting coda for the essay I'd written on the plane.

The Zen of Travel