- Andy Rooney
I have a deep, dark secret.
In a recent blog I alluded to my secret, my shame, when I talked about the things I think about when I stay at a hotel property -- so it's time I admit it outright and to Hell with the consequences.
I'm not sure when it began, but a couple of years ago I found myself collecting...or so I thought at the time...the little bottles of shampoo left in hotel bathrooms. At first it was innocent. A bottle of shampoo here, a bottle there. Sometimes I'd nab a conditioner to go along with the shampoo, but only very rarely when I needed a special hit.
I told myself it was as a reminder of a particularly good time at a resort in, say, Las Vegas or the Caribbean or Hawaii. Of a luxurious stay. An indulgence.
It wasn't a problem. I could quit any time.
Then came soap.
One day I came back to the room and found not only did I have a bar of soap in the shower, which I'd used only that morning, but the maid had kindly left me a second bar on the counter. It was candy in front of a toddler. Suddenly, without realizing, I popped the bar of soap into my suitcase, hiding it in the hopes that tomorrow the maid might be lulled into leaving another.
And she did.
I was astounded with the ease of it. Use a bar of soap, a bottle of shampoo, and the next day the deale...maid would leave me another.
I couldn't help myself. It was as if manna was being dropped from heaven -- or in this case housekeeping's push-cart.
At my worst I would come home from my trips with two or three bars of soap, a couple bottles of shampoo and maybe a conditioner. In a few cases I tried the little sewing-needle repair kits, but stopped myself before they, too, could become a habit.
Over the years I've hidden my addiction from others. Oh, I think my wife knew. She threatened me a few times, insisting I not bring back any more soap. But I kept at it. Behind her back, with small bars tucked away in my luggage or stuffed into my computer bag.
I'm working hard at my recovery.
This last week I had a relapse and brought home a few bars of soap. It's a difficult habit to simply quit cold Dove.
But I'm trying. One day at a time.
Learning just to say no to cosmetics.
...
Some say the best way to handle an addiction is to find a distraction.
Maybe I'll go have a martini...
(BTW - We're donating all of the above photographed soap and shampoo to a nearby homeless shelter. No pharmaceuticals were harmed in the making of this blog.)
